H is for Having it All (Kinda)

By Renee Murphy

Renee Murphy and kids (youngest to oldest: Kellan, Katherine, and Keefe) at home. Photo by Patti Hartog

One topic my girlfriends and I talk about on a regular basis is how we struggle, almost daily, with how to be a “boss” at our jobs and still be the best mom and wife on the planet. No pressure, right? In 2014 career strategist and author Megan Dall-Camina surveyed 1,000 women in the workforce about their well-being. Seventy percent of those surveyed believe the concept of success at home and work were a myth. Forty percent told Dall-Camina they were hanging on by a thread.



Count me in that 70 percent — and the 40 percent.

My whole life I heard the phrase “You can have it all.” These are words my parents instilled in me. These are words society told me over and over again. This is what I truly believed. Until I grew up. Instead of the phrase, “having it all,” I think it should be “living your best life possible.” That’s what I try and do and is part of the reason I am thankful to now be working on Good Morning Kentuckiana (GMK). I worked on this show many years ago and was not quite ready for the position. Now is the perfect time to be back on the team.

Anchoring the 11pm news had been my dream for a while so when that opportunity came around two years ago, I was thrilled. I knew it meant being away from my kids at night, but I didn’t realize how much I would be sacrificing in the process. My oldest child will soon be going to middle school and the other two are 7 and 4 years old. The afternoon crunch was becoming more difficult. My wonderful husband was juggling everything like a pro, but I was missing so much by working during the evenings.

So when the opportunity for Good Morning Kentuckiana came around a second time, I was ready. I may have to get up at 2am, but what I get in return is extremely rewarding. I can now meet my kids at the bus in the afternoon, have dinner with them, and do homework with them (although that is not my strength). In the morning I get to cover all the big stories of the day and work on developing new ideas. It’s not exactly how I thought things would turn out, but sometimes it’s the unexpected that turns out to be better than you could have imagined.

My days are mapped out to the minute. They have to be if I want to get to bed by 8 in the evening. My house is never clean. Sometimes I give my kids hot dogs and broccoli for dinner (protein, starch and veggies, right?). There are days I go in the bathroom and close the door and pray that I did everything to the best of my ability.

Is that having it all? I don’t know. I have some if it, some of the time. Sometimes I am on point with my mom skills, but that could be a day when I am struggling at work and have gained five pounds. Then there are the days I make it to crossfit and am eating lean and green, but then I am cranky with my child.

I was the kid that always had the plan written out in great detail, and now, I am constantly juggling and figuring things out on the fly. The plan changes quicker than I can keep up. I have a chalkboard in my kitchen where I write down the events of the day so the whole family can see it. It is purposely in chalk so I can erase, change, and rearrange. Sometimes I will drop the ball, but you know what?

I will pick it right back up when it bounces.