Gather round, my wife-to-be warriors. Prepare yourself for the hunt that will launch you fabulously into wifedom. Since the time of our ancestors, brides-to-be have searched the land for the dress, the one gown that was made to highlight our finest features and make us feel like royalty as we partake in the ancient ritual of marriage.
We climb through jungles of tulle and satin. We might show our claws if a rival bride takes too long in the dressing room. Our matrimonial mascara war paint marks our pursuit of the feminine and flawless, the ivory and immaculate, the poufy and perfect.
I've yet to bring down a wedding dress of my own (I've been tracking both puffy and romantic and form-fitting vintage without a decisive aim), but in my experience thus far in the noble sport of dress hunting, I've learned a few hints:
