Give Yourself the Gift of Simplicity

By Bob Mueller


My wife Kathy and I love to travel. We have started a new tradition during the week of Labor Day visiting Kentucky and Indiana locations. This year we stayed at the Old Jailers Inn Bed & Breakfast in Bardstown, Kentucky. We did parts of the bourbon and wine trails. We revisited Bernheim Forest where we enjoyed our first kiss years ago. We sat on a park bench in the stillness of the forest and renewed our love.

Until I can say what I want to say kindly, I try not to say anything.

By Bob Mueller

In my school days, sarcasm was the standard mode of getting along with each other. No one thought sarcasm was unkind. Rather, it was a sign of wit and engagement. It was how a person fit in. By the time my schooling was over, sarcasm was imprinted on me and leaked out in many things I said.

Seven Ways to Build True Grit

By Bob Mueller

I have always liked the term true grit, which I first heard from the title of an old John Wayne movie. It’s apparent that true grit is a quality that people from all walks of life possess. It takes as much true grit to rise from homelessness to job stability and home ownership as it does to be a concert level pianist.

Having true grit is applicable to accomplishing many important goals in our lives, particularly if we have long-term ambitions for ourselves that will involve years of hard work, persistence, setbacks, lack of family support, and other difficult conditions. We may even need true grit to overcome an affluent childhood during which we were never criticized or asked to do something hard.

Finding Joy

“Drowned out by the noise of entitlement, joy hasn’t a chance.”
By Bob Mueller

I have often heard people make the following remarks:

• “Why do I seldom feel joyful?”
• “Something always nags at feeling joyful. I wonder ‘what next?’ or ‘maybe it won’t last.’”
• “I know about pleasure, but I don’t think I’ve felt pure joy.”
• “It’s like I always expect something more.”
• “I’m always disappointed in the end.”

The True Purpose of Relationships

By Bob Mueller

“When you learn to feel lovingly connected on the inside, you’ll find it much easier to forge a bond with others.”

Something wonderful has happened to me. I think it’s a combination of my age, my ministry, my writing, and my work with hospice. Every day I receive a large volume of email feedback through my websites. And every day I receive phone calls and voicemails. Due to the large volume of personal information I’ve shared, many consider me a close friend because they know so much about me, so they write to me from the perspective that we already share a bond of love.

What is Your Resistance to Change Doing to You?

By Bob Mueller

Over 2,500 years ago, the philosopher Heraclitus dipped his toes into a river in Greece and instantly understood that change itself is the one unchanging reality. Everything is in flux. Change is the source of life, the one thing you can trust. He realized that he could never, as hard as he might try or as much as he might like, step into the same river again. Change is here to stay. The moment when you read this word is now gone. The case for flexibility is made. If life is moving, I’d better get going if I want to live it.

How Volunteering Also Cultivates New Friendships

By Bob Mueller

 Do you hold back from volunteering because you believe your help will not be enough — just a drop in the bucket? I like the example of Mother Teresa, who committed one small voluntary act of kindness, then another, and then another. Ordinary acts of service accumulate into an inspiring, indelible, and loving declaration about the power of helping one another.

Let’s Just Stop a Moment!

By Bob Mueller

Our lives often resemble an old-fashioned pressure cooker, the pressure building and the whistle about to blow. Most of us accept such on-the-go pressure. We’re oblivious to its damage until the harm is done, and though we may question it at times, we remain on the move.

Let’s just stop for a moment! Can’t we enjoy full and serene lives? Have we exaggerated the obstacles barring us from tranquil days? Why not pursue serenity? Wait. Just what is serenity?

The Basics for Good Living

By Bob Mueller

Once our physical needs are met, the basic desires of the mind and heart remain. Simple pleasures feed our essential selves: listening to music, being outdoors, seeing a beloved face at the door, laughing all the way, knowing we did our best work, wearing clothes softened by age, reading all day, watching a flight of wild geese, and breathing deeply. Such soul food has been at our fingertips all along.

Learn to Move On…

We have all been injured emotionally at one time or another, in one way or another — and the bitter urge to strike back becomes our first reaction.
By Bob Mueller

There is a better, more productive route, although it can be emotionally difficult. The instructions are simple: Move on. Figure that this, too, shall pass.

What Will They Say About You?

By Bob Mueller

Having spoken at hundreds of funerals in my lifetime, I have discovered that final remarks tell a great deal about the deceased. It would be a fascinating experience to hear, in advance, what will be said in our eulogy.

Are You Walking Away From Time Eaters?

By Bob Mueller

To paraphrase Ben Franklin: If you love your life, then don’t waste time, not even an hour, not even a minute. For time is the stuff that life is made of.

6 Steps to Getting a Backbone

By Bob Mueller

When I attended seminaries in Louisville and Baltimore, I was most fortunate to have a wise spiritual director. He told me his goal was to make me

Are you Open to the Whole Life Experience?

By Bob Mueller

The proper nourishment for personal growth is a loving acceptance and encouragement by others, not rejection and impatient suggestions for improvement. Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection.

If you will accept me wherever I am, all my energies and desires to grow will be released and energized. If you will reassure me that it is all right to be where I am now, I will have courage to move beyond where I am. With your loving acceptance of me, I will gradually grow into the fullness of life.

I Make These 10 Commitments Every Day

By Bob Mueller

I remember the time two springs ago when I was determined to paint the sunroom. Up early, to the hardware store gathering the gallons of white paint, the wooden mixing sticks, the drop cloths, and the one-time brushes that always harden, no matter what you soak them in.

I mixed the paint outside and waddled to the door with a gallon in each hand, the drop cloth under my arm and a wide brush in my mouth. I chuckle when I think about what happened next: I teetered there for minutes, trying to open the door, not wanting to put anything down. I was so stubborn. I had the door almost open when I lost my grip, stumbled backward, and wound up on the ground with white paint all over me.

LOVE — The Opposite of Being Shut Out

By Bob Mueller

Many people tell me they are a “shut-in.” They may be old, crippled, or sick. Many cannot get out much and have to stay in the house most of the time. I have also visited several jails and penitentiaries. It makes me sad to see men and women shut behind prison bars.

Above most anything else, we Americans want freedom. We do not want to be shut-ins. Young people crave the chance to live their own lives. Husbands or wives do not want to be dominated by the other. We do not want our nation to be governed by a dictator. We want to be free.

But I want to tell you something worse than being a shut-in: being a “shut-out.”

Seven Ways to Reduce Stress Today

By Bob Mueller

Years ago I had the opportunity to hear Mother Teresa speak at Bellarmine College in Louisville. Someone in the audience asked Mother Teresa how she could keep such a busy schedule. He said, “You crisscross the country and the world. How do you do it? Aren’t you exhausted? Your schedule would drive me crazy!”

In a sincere voice that calmed the entire audience, Mother Teresa responded quietly...

Take Care of Yourself- Go Outdoors

Most of us work indoors in recycled air and fluorescent light. My office this past year has been in the basement with no window due to a renovation project. Many days I felt like my brain was fried. When I felt completely depleted, it was easy to walk outside and breathe some fresh air.  If the weather was nice, I might walk for ten minutes. If not, I would just stand on the porch and breathe and look at the land, the trees, the plants, the birds.